Shadowhunter Shopping
by yourstrulydani
Summary: Simon wasn't the Institute's knight-in-shining-shopping-cart, nor did he want to buy tampons for Clary and Isabel.


"Why, isn't it just great?" Simon mumbled sarcastically. He's all bundled up, wearing a bright orange turtleneck top and a pair of oversized sunglasses in the middle of a busy supermarket. Isabel said it would perfectly conceal his vampire identity, but in Jedi's name he's even attracting more attention!

He angrily pushed on his shopping cart, which kept squeaking as he moved along the aisles. He had been given 6 separate lists, each signed by a different name.

The first list was written by Alec, his handwriting an untidy scrawl. He went through the list while wheeling to the herbs and spices section. _Rosemary, they might have some of that. Some Spanish paprika and Thyme leaves sounded normal... Ibbleroot seeds? _The Target lady stalked off thinking he was some nutter. He mentally cursed Alec. He must've had a great laugh by now. Simon moved on to the next thing on his list: instant Mac'n'Cheese. He strolled through the aisle, picking up six boxes of McMueller's Instant Treats : Mac'n'Cheese. The third and last thing on his list were earplugs. Simon just shrugged, since Alex had always been a bizarre guy. He got him an adorable pair of Hello Kitty earplugs just to tease him.

The next person who took advantage of him playing knight-in-shining-shopping-cart was none other than Jace. Simon groaned, seeing the first thing on his list. Is he acting dumb or does he really not know that there's no such thing as a solid block of seraph in the mundane world, much less in a mundane supermarket? Jace was probably just making fun of him. The second thing he needed was a blade sharpener, captioned "_For my golden dagger dipped in Holy Water. You know, to stab straight into the heart of rule-breaking junior vampires." _Simon shivered at the unsettling thought. He quickly got the blade sharpener and tossed it to the cart with vampire speed. The third thing Jace needed was surprisingly normal. He threw in 10 big bags of Doritos since people in the Institute would most likely dunk their hands in Jace's bag, and Jace wasn't one to share.

The third list was written in clear, printed letters but in a small piece of filthy bandage cloth. It only said '_raw meat' _ which clearly was Luke's. He pushed his odd assortment of a cart to the Frozen Meat section. Simon loaded the bottom compartment of his shopping cart with various frozen meat, from T-bones to Babyback Ribs and Tenderloin steaks. There was a great lack in Ribeye steaks which was Luke's favorite. The male staff said an odd young lady had already taken them all away for 'personal use'. Simon just shrugged it off, thinking that Luke can live without his Ribeye steaks anyway.

Simon took in the warlock, Magnus' miniscule & cramped list, walking towards the Liquor aisle. A jar of candied cherries and two bottles of Lime vodka? That sounded easy.

Clary and Simon were just hanging out by his makeshift bedroom when Clary had the huge craving for Peanut Butter dipped Snickers bars. Simon chuckled, thinking of the gooey and overly sweet treat Clary had invented back when they were still 14. He then offered to go to the supermarket to buy them and that's when the whole Institute took advantage of him. There he was now, buying Clary's Snickers bars and a jar of peanut butter. The next thing on her list wasn't an item, but a request. '_#3 What Isabel wrote on her #3 and #4"_

Simon moved to his last list, which was Isabel's. He strolled towards the first aid section. He took a wad of bandages and tossed them to his cart. He then asked the same staff lady for some morphine. "Uhhh, weirdo." she scoffed, rolled her eyes and scampered away. Simon just looked helplessly at her retreating back and looked down on the last things on her list. _Buscopan Venus (menstrual cramp medicine) _

"Well, fug." he muttered. He pushed his full shopping cart to the medicine counter and mustered up the confidence to ask for the blasted medicine and some...tampons. Really, Isabel?

Simon heard a girly chuckle behind him. "Nice on, vampire." the voice whispered in his hypersensitive ears. "M-Maia! So weird to s-see you here..." Simon said in a ridiculous voice, nervously chuckling. "I see you were the one who took all the Ribeyes." he eyed her cart full of raw meat. "Yeah. Well, you know where I live and whom I live with." she grinned.

_It was a bizarre experience for a vampire guy to be teased by a werewolf girl for the tampons on his shopping cart._


End file.
